Turn 005 // Anonymous text

[best_laid_plans]

[The anonymous text is sent out around midmorning. Someone's distracting himself from domestic snarls by being productive.]

In the interest of observing trends among people summoned to Johto, an anonymous survey is being conducted.

Please take the time to answer the following questions. None of your responses will ever be quoted with your name attached.

Thank you for your cooperation and patience.


Basics
1. Name:
2. Trainer or Breeder?:
2a. If a Trainer, how many Badges do you have?:
2b. If a Breeder, do you specialize in breeding a certain type?:
3. How many Pokémon do you own?:
4. How long have you been in Johto?:
5. Why do you think we've been brought here?:
6. Do you want to go home? Why or why not?:

Values
7. List three personality traits you look for in a friend:
8. What is the last thing that made you angry?:
9. What is your favorite thing about Johto?:
10. How about your least favorite thing?:
11. What is your goal for your stay in Johto?:
12. What is your overall dream in life?:

What Ifs/History
13. You see your best friend being assaulted by a wild Pokémon. What do you do?:
14. You see your worst enemy in the above situation. What do you do?:
15. Your family has arrived in Johto! How do you react?:
16. What is the bravest thing, in your opinion, you've ever done?:
17. What is your worst fear?:
18. Finish this sentence - "A leader is someone who...":
19. Using the definition given above, do you consider yourself a leader or a follower?:
20. Do you believe in God? Why or why not?:
21. If you had to choose between material wealth and finding your soulmate, which would you select?:
22. Would you be interested in taking more surveys in the future?:

And a final, bonus question:
23. If you were told you could have anything in the world at all, no strings attached, if you could do anything, go anywhere, be anyone - what would you do? This doesn't just have to be in Johto - what is your total, absolute perfect world?

Once again, we thank you for your cooperation.

Comments

[Text]

[foolishwren]

<sub>[After staring at the survey for a moment or so, Heather pauses to consider whether or not she's feeling in the mood to take something like this seriously or not.]


[... And then the fond nostalgic memories of trolling the hell out of experimental these-don't-count fake exams in high school hit and she makes her decision.]</sub>

1. Name:
Abs McBeeferton
2. Trainer or Breeder?:
both
2a. If a Trainer, how many Badges do you have?:
all of them
2b. If a Breeder, do you specialize in breeding a certain type?:
babies
3. How many Pokémon do you own?:
a million
4. How long have you been in Johto?:
forever. I am Johto.
5. Why do you think we've been brought here?:
this is actually a dream sequence from Malcolm in the Middle and eventually Malcolm is going to wake up and we'll all cease to exist
6. Do you want to go home? Why or why not?:
no because I haven't learned the real secret of the ruby slippers yet

Values
7. List three personality traits you look for in a friend:
hotness
willingness to do embarrassing things for my amusement
presence of a unibrow
8. What is the last thing that made you angry?:
a vending machine ate my last Poke-dollar and didn't even give me my Lemonade I hate it when that happens
9. What is your favorite thing about Johto?:
the fact that a Pokemon that is an actual sack of garbage exists
10. How about your least favorite thing?:
why do all the police have blue hair it's creepy
11. What is your goal for your stay in Johto?:
cure Poke-cancer
12. What is your overall dream in life?:
to be the first person to bounce on a Jigglypuff for three miles straight

What Ifs/History
13. You see your best friend being assaulted by a wild Pokémon. What do you do?:
take pictures
14. You see your worst enemy in the above situation. What do you do?:
take artistic black and white hipster pictures
15. Your family has arrived in Johto! How do you react?:
my family is in johto
16. What is the bravest thing, in your opinion, you've ever done?:
ate lima beans for the first time (they were nasty)
17. What is your worst fear?:
clowns
18. Finish this sentence - "A leader is someone who...":
yells the loudest
19. Using the definition given above, do you consider yourself a leader or a follower?:
nothing i just lie down on the floor until everybody else leaves
20. Do you believe in God? Why or why not?:
no because one time I saw Jesus in a poptart and then I ate it and no one smited me
21. If you had to choose between material wealth and finding your soulmate, which would you select?:
my soulmate will inevitably be rich so this question is invalid
22. Would you be interested in taking more surveys in the future?:
read my answers to this and think very hard about whether or not you WANT me to take more surveys in the future

And a final, bonus question:
23. If you were told you could have anything in the world at all, no strings attached, if you could do anything, go anywhere, be anyone - what would you do? This doesn't just have to be in Johto - what is your total, absolute perfect world?
DISNEY WORLD

[Text] (anonymous)

[best_laid_plans]

[Oh, we've got a clever one here, haven't we. Well, your answers still reveal a lot about you - whoever you are.]

Thanks for participating! A number of colorful people have certainly arrived in Johto, haven't they?

Seeing as you claim to be Johto itself, we particularly appreciate your input.

[Text] (anonymous)

[foolishwren]

rofl no problem my child

johto out

_{[SUPER CLEVER. CLEARLY.]}